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A Holistic Process

Rachel Alexander Oct. 16, 2017

Traditionally, family law attorneys approach neither the family nor divorce holistically.  Many divorce lawyers focus only on what immediately benefits their client, missing the long-term view.  Certain “wins” can cost the client more than he is prepared to lose – such as the breakdown of goodwill or valued relationships.  When divorce attorneys fail to appreciate the interrelatedness of family members – including divorcing spouses – they can only represent a fraction of their client’s interests, and may counsel a client into making choices that have unanticipated, unwanted consequences.   

In mediation, we are conscious of how the well-being of each member of the family is  interdependent. When one client prevails, that “winning” party must still work with the “defeated” spouse, often relying upon them for such things as keeping the children safe and paying support in compliance with the terms of the agreement.   Vanquishing a spouse doesn’t warrant the same victory dance if you have to meet her half-an-hour later for a custody exchange. Mediation principles remind clients to keep the ongoingness of the relationship in sight; that the repercussions of an unfair settlement will be shared by both parties.

A licensed attorney in New Jersey, New York and Maryland, Rachel Alexander has a background in social work and multiple therapeutic modalities.  She is certified by the International Focusing Institute as a Focusing Oriented Professional and Certified Focusing Trainer.  Her expertise and years of experience uniquely qualify her to identify and address underlying issues in divorce and better resolve legal and financial matters.

We Look at The Forest And The Trees

Alexander Mediation Group  has been practicing divorce mediation in NJ and NY for well over a decade.  We appreciate the many moving parts that must be attended to in order for clients to obtain their divorce.  Taking a different approach from most family law attorneys, we determine to get a settlement agreement finalized before involving the court, thereby keeping court intrusion to a minimum.  Like other matrimonial attorneys, we help clients obtain their legal divorce.  Unlike other family attorneys, we help clients address new challenges so they can move beyond their divorce.     

As mediators and attorneys, we handle drafting and submitting the divorce documents and preparing clients  for their uncontested hearing. By streamlining the process and approaching divorce in a step by step process, we break down what might otherwise seem overwhelming, freeing families  to focus on resolving issues.

Dealing with Issues, Not Merely Divorce Papers

Mediation is primarily about human beings, not paperwork.  As such, we are client-focused. Traditional divorces start a chain of events that take on a life of their own.  filing deadlines and court mandates loom, driving the process and dictating the pace, often eclipsing the litigants involved.  Litigants experience distress, dread, and eventually even powerlessness.

Alexander Mediation Group manages the procedure and the paperwork, reducing administrative responsibilities, and attendant anxieties, freeing clients to regroup and concentrate on resolution and moving forward.

Mediation covers all the items dealt with in a divorce — including child support, custody, parenting plans, equitable distribution, and alimony.  Mediation also includes non-legal issues implicit in divorce, such as communication, protecting children, and establishing new norms post-divorce.  When needed, we collaborate with professionals of other disciplines such as therapists, mortgage brokers, realtors, accountants, wealth managers, and actuaries.  We work exclusively with those who understand the benefits of mediation and practice the same client-centered approach to which we adhere. This is how we realize a holistic approach to divorce mediation.  

If you want to learn more about the mediation process, click here.