Mediation in The Hamptons Part 2
Focus on Substance v Nonsense (bureaucratic rules, time lines, etc.)
Mediation keeps people focused on what is important — their families, their resources, themselves! The evolved approach to a devolved matter, mediation protects more than assets, it protects families.
Mediation is an ideal option for people who might otherwise think their only option is litigation.
A good agreement can serve as a family’s constitution, a guide to make later decisions on new matters.
Often litigation concerns itself with adhering to court-appointed deadlines and procedures — filing Motions in order to request the court’s intervention on one matter or another, instead of entering into direct, problem-solving communications. In mediation, these Motion-worthy matters are taken up and addressed more exactly and immediately, reducing countless hours and dollars.
For a fraction of the cost of traditional litigation, Hamptons mediation supports clients in arriving at resolution. For approximately $10,000, a divorce can be mediated, complete with a settlement agreement reflecting all of the rights and obligations of the parties and their children. Families who mediate, resolve all questions of spousal and child support, division of assets, allocation of parenting time, custody, and more. Clients complete their divorces comprehensively and privately, within a confidential, therapeutic environment.
Working cooperatively with the mediator, parties typically arrive at a settlement within several sessions (less than a dozen hours of time with the mediator).
The Agreement
The result of the mediation sessions is a written agreement. For divorcing parties in the Hamptons, New York, this agreement is called a Stipulation of Settlement, Settlement Agreement, or Separation Agreement.
Before entering into the agreement, the parties review the document with the mediator. Then both parties have ample time to review and revise the agreement before executing a final version reflecting all amenable changes.
Divorce necessitates collaboration and creativity, not powerlessness. Mediation invites participants to remain directors of their destinies.
Attorneys in Mediation – the Role of the Review Attorney
At this point, at their discretion, parties may seek separate outside counsel deemed “review attorneys.” Usually, mediation-friendly attorneys, review attorneys go through the agreement to advise the client of his or her individual rights and examine how the agreement may specifically impact the individual.
The final agreement memorializes the outcome of the parties’ negotiations and will serve as the blueprint for parenting and financial arrangements post-divorce. Along with other pleadings, the agreement will ultimately be submitted to the court in order for clients to receive a legal divorce.
Our agreements aim to capture not only the results of the mediation but the parties’ intentions and often their reasoning (when not obvious on its face) behind their final decisions. The purpose of this is not only to relieve the clients from having to recollect how they came to certain decisions, it provides a roadmap for third parties in the event they refer to the document in the future. A good agreement can serve as a family’s constitution, a guide to make later decisions on new matters. And new matters do arise — regardless of how prescient the parties’ powers — presenting new opportunities to rethink, review and yes, agree.
Self-Determination in Divorce
Divorce necessitates collaboration and creativity, not powerlessness. Mediation invites participants to remain directors of their destinies.
Conversely, litigation removes the reins from litigants’ hands; ostensibly inviting a third party, a Judge, to decide the most personal and sacrosanct matters; matters that most people wish to retain under their own dominion. A Judge is empowered to, well, render judgment in areas where only non-judgment is welcomed. Judges, however experienced, educated and well-intentioned, are not immune to the biases and influences of their own personal and professional histories.
No matter how great the wisdom of a court, mediation rests on this premise and preference: control should rest with the people most experienced and affected by the outcome.
In marriages, the two people most qualified to make decisions regarding their own lives are the self-same people in the process of living them! They should remain empowered as decision-makers. Of course, when needed, the support and input from experts are embraced to assist mediation participants in making well-informed choices, but the choices remain their own.
No matter how great the wisdom of a court, mediation rests on this premise and preference: control should rest with the people most experienced and affected by the outcome.
An Exceptional Way Forward
Divorce is common, but the management of one’s own divorce need not be. Mediation offers an extraordinary and humanistic pathway through divorce.
Mediation alone affords divorcing couples benefits beyond merely accomplishing a legal task. Mediation supports clients in becoming more equipped co-parents, communicators, leaders of their family unit. Parties who mediate enrich their ability to collaborate through adversity. Often mediation clients grow into their best selves, exemplifying individuals their children can model. Through the work of mediation, clients are regarded with compassion and dignity. Within that setting, they learn how to strengthen the skills, functionality, and resilience of the entire family. They also have the chance to heal. Most divorces and most processes for divorce do not have these built-in opportunities.
So where a divorce can be detrimental, and the ordinary approach to divorce devastating, mediation provides an alternative that is productive, generative and restorative.